I Know Nothing!!

For the record, I was not involved...

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/08/nutella-heist-thieves-make-off-with-five-tons-of-popular-chocolate-hazelnut-spread-from-a-parked-trailer/


While they may possess questionable morals, those thieves show impeccable taste in chocolatey bread spreads.

Hats off to them.

However...

Dig, if you will, the picture of...

... a bunch of guys dressed in black, standing in some dude's garage somewhere in Germany ...  They pull off their matching balaclavas, shake out their balaclava-hair and as they gaze proudly and fondly at their plunder, one of them pipes up with the question that is undoubtedly whirling around in all their minds...

"Well.....now what??"

Indeed.

What the hell are they going to do with 20 grand worth of hazelnutty deliciousness??

Now they're going to have to swipe a tractor trailer load of Wonderbread...but, realistically, they'd never eat their way through a tractor trailer load of Wonderbread because  it'd eventually go stale and/or turn bluish green before they could even put a dent in it.

Unfortunately, this was most likely a gateway heist.

The poor bastards are doomed to a lifetime of bread thievery.

A spectacular crime that has rocked the world??

Yes.

A well-thought out spectacular crime that has rocked the world??

Not exactly.

Silly silly boys.

And now, I believe it bears repeating...

In spite of my passionate love of all things Nutella, I was NOT involved....

...in any way, shape or form.

And neither was my good friend, Shultzy.