I'm here to set the record straight.
I, squirrel_e_girl, am a crybaby.
A big one.
Always have been. Always will be.
Not a damn thing I can do about it.
I've learned to live with my propensity for tears. Embraced it even. It's part of my charm.
I cry when I'm really really sad. I cry when I'm really really happy. I cry when I'm really really tired. I cry when I'm really really mad ... which sucks because I could be mid-heated debate, in the act of stating an awesome point and making solid headway with my case and... WHAM-O ... the waterworks fire up and any credibility ...or pride...I have, is washed away in a flood of saline. Crap.
And, as luck would have it, I'm not a very attractive crier. My face goes all super crazy splotchy-like....apparently, starting with my nose. I was blissfully unaware of that last bit o' info until just recently when my daughter kindly pointed it out... She's a splotchy-face crier, too. (You're welcome, my darling. A gift from me...to you :P) As a bonus though, my eyes do go a rather lovely and rather cool shade of green when I cry. Alas, you have to get past all the splotchy cheeks/red nose bullshit in order to appreciate their lovely cool green-ness. Oh well.
Here is ....
...apart from all the typical Mandatory Crying Events (MCE)...
Weddings/Funerals/Line-ups at Canada's Wonderland on a blistering July afternoon....
"A Comprehensive List of Things That Make Me Cry"
- Country Music ...see last blog post for blah blah wah wah details
- The First Day of School...a little tradition I started back in 1975. At least now I'm not the one on the school bus and I can usually hold it together until my kids' bus pulls away so as not to mortally embarrass everyone involved.(and, by the way, this includes my first day of university. No school bus involved (thank god) but I was astonishingly hung-over and had zero sleep the night before (thank Beer Fest) so it was a hell of a way to start the year. Nice work, 19 year-old Me)
- A Baby Story on TLC ... Every. Single. Episode. I. Watch. Doesn't matter if I watch the whole show or just happen to tune in in time to catch a glimpse of the freshly squeezed out teeny tiny slimy newborn, it gets me. Did I cry following the births of my own two teeny tiny slimy newborns? Oddly...nope. But show me some strangers on T.V. experiencing the joy of new life and I'll cry like...well, like a baby.
- Remembrance Day Assemblies ...something about little kids paying solemn tribute just wrecks me. Amazing.
Which reminds me...
- The Bell commercial where a young guy calls his grampa from the beach at Dieppe to thank him ...oy yoy yoy ... Watch it yourself... I dare you
- Singing "O, Canada" ...The True North strong and sappy (...don't even talk to me about singing "O Canada" at a Remembrance Day assembly...)
- This commercial for Toronto Sick Kids ....boy oh boy
- Any commercial for any charity for underprivileged children or abused animals....Yikes.I avoid them at all cost. One peek at Sally Struthers and I am outta there.
- "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch ...Not a chance I can get through that f@#ker in one piece.
- "You're All My Favorites" by Sam Mc Bratney ...Not that one either.
- "Marley & Me" by John Grogan ...holy shit.
- "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova ....quite a way to spend New Years Day.
- "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares...shut up...I must've been at my hormonally-challenged best/worst when I read it.
- Pretty much any animated movie made by any company whose name begins with 'Dis' and ends with 'ney', or starts with 'Pix' and ends with 'ar'
- "A Walk to Remember" ... there are no words ...and no excuse, really... Well, except for the fact that it happened to be in heavy rotation on the Movie Channel during a period of intense insomnia in my life and...I am a wienie.
- "Finding Neverland" ....For whatever reason the ending of that movie rendered me unable to speak until we were out of the theatre and within the safe confines of our Jetta and then I bawled like an idiot. I thought it might've been a "one off" but it had the same effect when I watched it on DVD ...minus the Jetta
- stupid "American Idol" and "So You Think You Can Dance"... Don't judge me...not something I'm proud of.
- Moments of Acute Pride...These are the most powerful and most crippling incidents and are reserved specifically and especially for my babies. Piano Recitals/Graduations/Wrestling Matches/Soccer Games/Acts of Genuine Kindness etc etc never fail to bring a smile to my heart and a tear (or 2000) to my eye.
That's what makes girl like me cry.
Important Edit #1: I cannot believe that I forgot these ones (Thanks M.S.),,,
- Christmas Morning...Splotchy Face + Bed Head = Excellent Photo Op
- Singing Happy Birthday to my Kids ... Splotchy Face + Holding a Cake = Excellent Candle-Lit Photo Op